What if I could make the next “Guardians of the Galaxy” soundtrack?

Given my obsession with modern music, it may come as a surprise that I have next to no affinity to modern movies. Any occasion that I find myself with a two hour window of freedom is rare, and even then I struggle to find a reason why any present-day flicks should take up my time. One of the few successful coercion methods in convincing me to watch a movie however, is hinting that that movie has a killer soundtrack. “Guardians of the Galaxy” is the manifestation of that persuasive maneuver, as a quintessential pull is its setlist of endearing lost hits.

When “Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2” was released this past weekend, proactive ole’ FeenyFresh decided to put some research into the new soundtrack before he saw the film. I can solemnly confirm that, within a world currently saturated with a surplus of watered down sequels, this movie succeeded in musical amazement for a second time. It’s cluster of underappreciated pop-rock classics is a curious oddity, especially considering the viewing public is once again falling in love with 40 year old songs. After agog analysis, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are 3 essential steps to producing a phenomenal oldies soundtrack as the “Guardians of the Galaxy” crew has repeatedly done.

Step 1: Chris Pratt is no doubt one of the standout big screen heartthrobs of the past 5 years. That charm doesn’t only stem from his looks, but for his humor and fun spontaneity as well. Now picture that lovable lunk stopping an action movie in it’s tracks just to dance his fiery heart out. That’s the type of song you should be shooting for when creating a movie’s soundtrack. Each song should be able to provoke the crowd’s excitement as the modern day lady-killer gets down with his bad self…or at least prances along with a smooth shimmy.

Step 2: According to the movies, Peter Quill (aka Chris Pratt) was abducted by aliens in 1988. Every song in his cassette tape collection of pop-rock awesomeness must therefore originate before that date.

Step 3: These songs aren’t only unappreciated on earth, but the universe as a whole is lacking some serious love for these gilded oldies. Each song may have had its time, but today’s developing youth likely has no idea that these songs exist. This solar-system of musically malnourished life forms could use a serious melodious revival.

Keep in mind that there is a Marvel comic book series that the movie is based off of, but the parameters for this playlist are based on the details presented in the movie series.

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